The Biggest Regrets Couples Have After Their Wedding
So, you’re in the process of planning your wedding, and you’re thinking through every detail. Your wedding is going to be perfect. After all - this is the only wedding you’re going to have!
After it’s all over, no matter how much planning and thoughtfulness went into the day, you get to spend the rest of your life with your best friend. So, since everyone’s wedding, regardless of budget or location, ends in a marriage, why do some couples have regrets about their day when it’s all said and done? And, more importantly, how can you avoid these same regrets?
#1 Photo timelines
Not streamlining the photography timeline and especially not doing a first look ahead of time.
While all of us like the idea of seeing each other at the aisle for the first time, the history of this tradition is less than romantic. In societies where arranged marriages were the norm, couples didn’t see each other until the marriage ceremony. The reason for tears at those weddings probably had less to do with romantic notions and more to do with frustration or fear at seeing their new life partner.
A lot of couples want there to be an aisle look - but consider this. If your fiance is the type of person to cry at the aisle, they will cry regardless of if they have seen you that day already or not. My own partner and I did a first-look ahead of time at our wedding because I really prioritized photos and I wanted plenty of time to take them, instead of rushing after the ceremony before dinner was served. We read our vows back to back and then turned around. He cried at that moment, and then again, three hours later, when I walked down the aisle.
Streamlining the photos of the day can make the day feel less rushed. It can also ensure that your day doesn’t have moments missed! It’s not fun to rush bridal party photos, family photos, and portraits of you and your spouse in the 30 minutes after the ceremony before the reception begins.
Even if you serve your guests dinner in that time or a cocktail hour, we’ve all been at the wedding reception where we got bored waiting for the couple. You can avoid this!
#2 Not asking the best bridal party.
Maybe you feel like you have to include a sibling, or you have to have equal sides.
You spend the majority of your wedding day with the people in your bridal party. They’re with you while you plan, while you prepare, and they’re standing next to you when you sign your marriage license. So, how to decide who it should be?
Here are some reminders that a lot of couples forget about:
Being in a bridal party is a financial commitment for your friends. For that reason, you should be mindful of who you ask and what, exactly, you’re asking of them.
You don’t have to limit your bachelorette or bachelor weekend to only your bridal party. Have a small wedding party but invite your thirty closest friends to your weekend celebration!
You don’t have to ask someone just because they asked you!
The more members in your bridal party, the longer it takes to get ready.
We often feel like we have to include our siblings, our childhood best friend, our college best friend, and everyone that’s ever asked us. Before we know it, there are 14 names on each of your lists and you’re worried that you will hurt feelings if you leave anyone out.
More and more couples are choosing smaller bridal parties, maybe just their two closest friends. Remember, if your friends have made you feel unimportant on your birthday, they probably won’t make you feel fully loved and important on your wedding day. Invite them to be a guest, not a member of the bridal party.
Also, your bridal party does not have to match! Your partner can ask their two best friends and you can ask your seven best friends, and it will be absolutely wonderful! No need to pair off equally.
#3 Giving into stress!
Couples regret not having more fun on their wedding day, because they were so worried about the timeline of the day and all the details coming together!
Of all the parties you ever throw, this one should be your favorite. If you are getting frustrated from the deviations in the day, take a moment to gather yourself and remind yourself that your wedding is supposed to be fun. Have a point person whose job it is to correct anyone who is adding to your stress. If your maid of honor needs to tell your mom to stop drinking or stop pulling focus, have her do that!
#4 Spending too much on food
And not enough on drinks!
Depending on your catering company, each guest’s dinner might be upwards of $30. A wedding coordinator I work with often told me that guests were polled at six weddings she planned in 2021 and the majority of guests, overwhelmingly, said they’d rather have a cheap meal and an open bar. Cash Bars make a lot of sense, financially. to couples who are spending most of their catering budget on dinner - but wedding guests are saying they’d rather have a slice of pizza and an open bar than a steak and a cash bar.
#5 Following the Rules
Your wedding is yours - you don’t have to do it the way its always been done!
A lot of couples regret giving into wedding expectations. They felt like they had to do a first dance or had to have their dad walk them down the aisle.
Your wedding is your own! If you don’t enjoy cake, don’t serve it at your reception. If you feel awkward dancing - skip it! If you don’t want to sit through speeches, don’t have your bridal party give them! Your dog can walk you down the aisle. Your brother can be your “flower-girl,” your dress can be black, and you are not required to do a single “traditional” thing.
At the end of the day, your wedding is yours, so it should reflect your personality through and through.
